The Wonder Dome

#34 Living in Generosity (with Christina Frei)

December 01, 2020 Andy Cahill / Christina Frei Episode 34
The Wonder Dome
#34 Living in Generosity (with Christina Frei)
Chapters
The Wonder Dome
#34 Living in Generosity (with Christina Frei)
Dec 01, 2020 Episode 34
Andy Cahill / Christina Frei

My guest today is Christina Frei, creator of the Innate Marketing Genius program. From the moment we met, Christina instantly tuned in to what it was I was doing in the world. I felt a kinship with her, and it struck me that she was more than just an expert on marketing (which she is, btw).

She's a deeply attuned, spiritual, and creative soul who recognizes that marketing isn't about the right strategy or the right result. It's about being as generous and authentic as you can be so that the right people can find their way to you. At its core, marketing is the art of living in generosity.

In this conversation, we focus on what Christina calls "The Generosity Practice," an approach to meditation that is grounded in compassion, creativity, and intuition. I've personally been following the generosity practice for over six months. It is so inspiring and fun and it totally helps me meet every day with more playfulness and creativity.

If you're in need of some grounding and mindfulness in your life, you're going to want to stick around for the whole conversation. In addition to our amazing dialogue, Christina also leads us through a guided meditation at the end, rooted in one of the elements of her generosity practice. You'll leave feeling filled up with energy and possibility.

The Wonder Dome Newsletter http://bit.ly/3dTfdPi
Follow Andy on Twitter http://twitter.com/cahillaguerilla
Like us on Facebook http://facebook.com/mindfulcreative.coach

EPISODE #34 NOTES
berkeleypsychic.com
heartmath.org
InnateMarketingGenius.com

facebook.com/innatemarketinggenius
instagram.com/christinakfrei
linkedin.com/in/christina-frei

Show Notes Transcript

My guest today is Christina Frei, creator of the Innate Marketing Genius program. From the moment we met, Christina instantly tuned in to what it was I was doing in the world. I felt a kinship with her, and it struck me that she was more than just an expert on marketing (which she is, btw).

She's a deeply attuned, spiritual, and creative soul who recognizes that marketing isn't about the right strategy or the right result. It's about being as generous and authentic as you can be so that the right people can find their way to you. At its core, marketing is the art of living in generosity.

In this conversation, we focus on what Christina calls "The Generosity Practice," an approach to meditation that is grounded in compassion, creativity, and intuition. I've personally been following the generosity practice for over six months. It is so inspiring and fun and it totally helps me meet every day with more playfulness and creativity.

If you're in need of some grounding and mindfulness in your life, you're going to want to stick around for the whole conversation. In addition to our amazing dialogue, Christina also leads us through a guided meditation at the end, rooted in one of the elements of her generosity practice. You'll leave feeling filled up with energy and possibility.

The Wonder Dome Newsletter http://bit.ly/3dTfdPi
Follow Andy on Twitter http://twitter.com/cahillaguerilla
Like us on Facebook http://facebook.com/mindfulcreative.coach

EPISODE #34 NOTES
berkeleypsychic.com
heartmath.org
InnateMarketingGenius.com

facebook.com/innatemarketinggenius
instagram.com/christinakfrei
linkedin.com/in/christina-frei

Andy:

My name is Andy. I help people live life on purpose. This podcast explores the mystery, beauty and complexity of life through conversations with an array of incredible practitioners, all of them working at the edge of what's possible. This is a place for big dreams, bold creativity, and fierce hope. Welcome to the Wonder Dome. If you're inspired by this conversation, and you'd like to see it reach more people, you can help the Wonder Dome take flight by sharing it with friends and colleagues, subscribing, giving us a high star rating, and best of all, leaving a glowing review. If you'd like to go even further, consider becoming a monthly supporter. You'll help me keep the lights on and support a wide range of charitable causes. You can learn more at MindfulCreative.coach. Thanks in advance for helping us inspire the world. My guest today is Christina Frei, creator of the Innate Marketing Genius Program. I met Christina through a mutual friend of ours, and what I thought was going to be a perfectly enjoyable coffee conversation turned into an inspiring and arguably transformative relationship. Christina instantly tuned into what it was I was doing in the world, or attempting to bring about in the world. And in the same way I felt a kinship with her. This is not simply a human who knew a lot about marketing. And that's certainly someone that she is. She's a graduate of Wellesley College. She's worked as a media buyer, account executive,a marketing manager at some really big name companies. But she's also, and this really comes through in her work, a deeply attuned, spiritual, and creative soul, who soon recognized that it wasn't about the right strategy or the right result. It was about being as generous and authentic as you can, so that people who need whatever it is you have to offer can find their way to you. And so our conversation today, almost doesn't touch on marketing. I mean, it's there in the background, but what's really in the foreground is this practice,Christina developed, the generosity practice. And it's an approach to meditation that those of you who are perhaps familiar with styles of meditation, like metta, or loving kindness meditation, you might hear some similarities. But she builds on that foundation in incredibly generative and creative ways. And I've been practicing the generosity practice for at least six months now. And it is so inspiring and fun, and helps me meet every day with more playfulness and creativity. So I hope you dig this conversation with Christina. She's a really special human being. And if you stick around to the end, she'll actually lead us through a guided meditation rooted in one of the elements of her generosity practice. So let's get settled in and hear what Christina has for us. Good morning, Christina.

Christina:

Good morning, Andy.

Andy:

Welcome to the Wonder dome. Oh there's Sammy.

Christina:

That's my dog.

Andy:

Hey Sammy. Good morning, Sammy. He'll be welcome to join us at any point throughout the conversation. So I was just reflecting right before we started recording on how I was like, how did we first meet? And our dear friend Sarah McBurney introduced us. I did my yoga teacher training with Sarah, which by the way, just like Fun fact, was co taught by my wife, so cool to see her in her element. And to sort of be a student of my partner like that. Anyways, here we are sitting in a cafe and in walks, this tall silver haired person sits across from me. And the frame up was like, hey, Andy, I have a friend Christina, who does really cool marketing work, and you should connect. I just think you two would would make a good connection. All right, I trust Sarah. You know, I don't really need any, I don't think I need any marketing help right now. But Christina sounds like good people. And then like, within five minutes, we're talking about human development and spirituality and where influence and inner power comes from. And I was like, Wait, you're a marketing person? Like, and no disparaging, like, I know lots of really smart, talented people who help other people help their businesses soar. Like it's a beautiful gift to know how to distill what someone's essence is and communicate it in a way that's accessible. And you Definitely have that gift, but your approach to it is so uniquely you and pulls from really deep depths. And I just got that hit within five minutes. I want to work with this person. So I don't know if Sarah had that in mind when she introduced us, but I'm really glad that she did. And, yeah, I'm still six plus months later, there's still insights that come through for me from the kind of explorations we did together. So I just really want to say thank you for that. And I'm so psyched to share a bit of that magic with anyone who listens in.

Christina:

Yeah, appreciate it.

Andy:

Yeah. So I wonder if we could start with kind of teasing out that thread a little bit more. I know that right now, because we still cross paths quite a bit. And, and I have kind of a bit of a finger on the pulse of what you're up to that, like you're just on fire with producing, guided meditations, and you're working on an online course. And like, you've got this wonderful practice called the generosity practice that you teach to all your clients. Like, just, how are you- How does the sort of generic word "marketing," and all of the work that you do, How is that alive for you right now? Like, what's the thing if you wanted to start to share a bit more about how you show up around this stuff, where would you start right now?

Christina:

Yeah. So I would say that what's really up for me these days is helping- Like people who have a heart for service, right? How do you take that and put it into messaging and strategy decisions? So as I'm developing this online course, I'm going to be honest, like, figuring out how to translate my one on one work into an online format, It is a good challenge, right? Like, I have to have faith that I can actually let go and allow someone to watch a webinar and get all that they would in a one on one session with me. And so I'm all about like, how do I keep things human? Like, that's what I help people do. How do I keep things human and authentic and connecting? And hear I am, you know, doing it in an online format, which I've had a long belief that that's just not going to work, but I'm going to give it a shot. So the bar is very, very high on how good it needs to be, and how connecting it needs to be. So some of the language that has come through for me, in doing this is that each trusted advisor that I've ever worked with, really cares about their clients. They deeply care about their clients, like they show up consistently. They have that care, they are devoted, right? They're just devoted. And so the question I always like to ask is, how can you bring all of that into the wider community that's going to hire you? Right? How can you show the consistency, care, and devotion? So that's the language that's really come through for me developing this online program. And believe me, I wrote it all out. Hours, and hours and hours of work. And then I realized, yeah, there's a better way to talk about this. And it was those three words, consistency, care, devotion. And so actually, those three words like I had to rewrite the whole thing. And I've been, you know, just doing everything over again. And yeah, so I would say that is alive for me. How can a trusted advisor like a life coach, a real estate agent, a financial advisor- How can they take the care that they offer their clients, and put that in their communication to their wider community that would hire them?

Andy:

Hmm. Yeah, I love it. And there's a nice lesson in there. By the way, for anyone who has any kind of creative project cooking, there's just a value in starting with what you've got, and letting that lead you towards what you really need to share. Right? Like you didn't have those three words, when you wrote everything out. You spent hours and hours. But that wasn't a waste of time. Right? Like that was actually exactly the work you needed to do to get to the level, to that simplicity and elegance, right?

Christina:

Yeah, I would love to speak to that. Because something you know, I have training, like energetic awareness training from a place out in California called the Berkeley psychic Institute. And I was raised Catholic, that was the last place I thought it would end up. But it allowed me to learn how to be grounded and calm when I'm a very sensitive, like, I'm just sensitive to other energies. And this gave me clarity about who I am, what matters to me, and creative confidence. And one of the things that we did all the time is create and destroy, create and destroy, create and destroy. And that process, Like we actually had visual tools to get at that right. You would imagine something and then you would let it go. Imagine it, let it go. And it was like this real rigorous practice. And some people have a really hard time with it. And there are times I did too. But what it let me come to is, every time I create something, it's more important for me to get to the essence. And it's okay for me to just do something and then totally throw it in the garbage. Because, first of all, I'm used to it. And second of all, I know it's taking me to the core essence of what I need to create, and nothing is wasted.

Andy:

Hmm. Yeah. Yes, I love that. The the sort of thing that comes up for me as you share that idea of creation, hidden within creation is really an act of destruction, or an act of letting go that. Like, that's the sort of the nature of the universe, right? If everything was perfectly balanced, there'd just be static. And so there's this sort of way in which as things are coming apart, we can see new possibilities emerging from them, and then build those. And at some point, a year from now, or two years from now, you'll probably have one word, or you'll might have three new words, or you'll have a whole nother set of teachings that sit nicely alongside the teaching that you're working on now. And that simply can't happen if we stop at the first step and go. I'm not just, it's not right yet. So I'm just not going to do it. Right. Like I just sense that a lot of us whether it's in creative work, or entrepreneurial work, or even in this effort, of really sharing our compassion and our devotion and our consistency. What were the three words devotion, consistency and-?

Christina:

Care.

Andy:

Care, Yeah, like to figure out how to share that in language. It's a wonderful invitation. you're offering people and it just takes iterations, right? I imagine that most of your clients don't hear you say that and go like, okay, at the end of the hour, like, got it. Here's everything I need to do on my website, or here's everything I need to do in my in my work to capture that, right. Like, that's a process of ongoing discovery. Is that right?

Christina:

Absolutely.

Andy:

Yeah. Yeah. How do you. I mean, it sounds like you've got some really great visualization and energetic practices to help you stay the course, when you're faced with a really big project. Like taking everything you do as a one on one human and putting it into an online vessel. Huge project, right and ton of work, and you're just kind of staying the course. iI sounds like you're having fun with it. Not everyone- that can often be really overwhelming to people. And I wonder how you help people sort of, stay grounded in the process, or stay excited about the process or sort of stay alive to the possibilities, even when it's sort of messy and things are kind of, they're in the kind of falling apart not working part of the creative process?

Christina:

Yeah, well, one of the things I want to speak to is, hey, we're going through an election cycle, hey, we're going in, we're in a pandemic, there's a lot of things. I mean, a lot of people are dealing with how to do school this year. So there's just all these added things. And you know, connected to getting out there and possibly being rejected, There's that stress too. So there's just like layers of challenge and stress with growing a business and also being a human in the world right now. And because of that, I personally have gotten very serious and devoted about self care. Like it's like a non negotiable. And I'm sure if you're listening to this, you know, you probably have been through that too, right? It's like, Wow, I can't function unless I sit down for five minutes and just breathe. So and that's having the compassion to just admit that, I think is really, I think it's a really big thing right now. Like, can we have the compassion for ourselves to do that? Now what I do with my clients, because this is part of my daily routine, and has been for the last six years, is I walk them through the generosity practice work, And the reason, I mean, there's a lot of reasons for that. But when I have offered it to entrepreneurs in the past, and particularly like when I was just getting out there and starting to teach this, and these were entrepreneurs that were, you know, some of them had teams that they were managing, some of them really were at the front end of a new adventure and completely overwhelmed with what was in front of them. You know, they all have their own challenges. And when they did this work, they said to me, every single time, they felt grounded, and expanded, grounded and connected, grounded and safe in their bodies, but also ready to get out there and make people's lives better. And I mean, they are like 21 things that happen when you do this practice. Like I've actually kept a running log about, like, all the effects, and I could go on a big, you know, sales spiel about how great it is. But those two things, the grounding, and yet I'm connected and generous, those are really common impacts.

Andy:

Yeah, I love that. And for those listening in, Christina has taught me the generosity practice, it weaves really nicely into some of the other meditative and mindfulness and heartfulness work that I already do and amplifies it. And I can totally speak to that. There is a- I think a lot of people have this idea about meditation. And that's not an accident, because this is how some people teach meditation, that it is about kind of disciplining yourself or disciplining your mind, to behave a certain way. And we could get into whole debate about that. But I just suffice it to say that in this moment, what you invite people into is less a practice of like, I have to, there's my quote unquote, monkey mind again, oh, why can't I get grounded, Like it's a much less, first of all, it's a much less stressful way to engage with stress management, like it's a much more generative way. And then the kind of paradox is that you're helping people get connected to themselves and to life, and then orient towards someone they care about, or towards their clients or towards the community or towards the world. Like, it's that sort of like, center in self, and then recenter, or de-center out in something greater, that actually has this paradoxical effect of really helping you stay grounded in yourself. And then from there, that expansiveness you describe as possible, that sense of like, ease of possibility of creativity, it's just a really, it just works. So as sort of like, there's for anyone listening like client testimonial, like it's just fucking works. It's a really different way into mindfulness. So even if you're someone who's like, tried to meditate, this is like, Okay, this is different. This is not your typical approach to meditation. And I wonder if you could say a bit, does that resonate with you that distinction I'm making between sort of, quote unquote, traditional meditation and what you're doing? And is that important?

Christina:

Yeah, I've thought about this quite a bit. So I'd love to share with you a distinction that I've made around where this fits in to all meditation, all personal development, stuff like that. So I distinguish three important modes, like ways of being as humans that relate to this work. So the first one is what I call the productive robot. And that's where you're pretty much in doing mode, we all go there every day, like it's just how we operate. And then at some point, there's usually burnout if we do that too long, and don't really have any regard for ourself and our needs. So then we go into the second mode, which is personal sanctuary. So it's like, we need to like, you know, batten down the hatches, close the doors and go within and just get curious about like, well, who am I? What are my needs? Do I need a massage right now?

Andy:

Yes, yes.

Christina:

Right. Like, where's the kale that I probably should be eating? And so that's a very key and important phase. And my sense is that most meditation sits right in there, because if you can take a moment, and I mean, I guess discipline is a good word, right? So come into a practice of learning how to focus your attention like that absolutely is huge. And also to find out what it's like to come in between your thoughts, right and not let your mind take over. So that's in there, too. That's very nourishing. What I also noticed about that, as nourishing as all of that is, it also has a little underbelly to it. Which is, sometimes when you're so focused on taking care of yourself, then you go out into your life, your family, your work, community, it feels like you're getting punched in the face energetically. You just want to go back and do your yoga. I've definitely felt that way. So then there's the third mode. And the third mode is what I call everybody wins. So what if you could actually line up that wonderful self care, personal sanctuary stuff with how you are in service to pretty much everybody, right? Like, just get those things together, such that when you open your eyes and you go out into the world, you just can't wait to go and help and there's just tons of energy. And really the big question, there's, I mean, I do training around this and there's subtleties. But I will just share with you that there is an operating question behind all of this, which is what feels good to offer to life today? That is the big question. What feels good to offer to life today? And what's a little bit, I don't know, like a little sneaky about that question is that it really needs to feel good. Because if it doesn't feel good, then you're going to start operating from a martyr standpoint, which then leads to exhaustion, which leads to bitterness. Like it's just not sustainable. And, and sometimes it's really challenging to come up with it. Like that's where it becomes a creative process, like you have to visualize what would feel good. And you also, it's really helpful if you can just let yourself be surprised, right? Like, whatever comes in when you ask that question. You know, you don't always know the answer to that. Right? Like, it's just really, that's what makes it an adventure. It opens you up, but again, every single time it grounds you, because now you're like, Okay, I can't wait to offer this. I mean, I don't even know how to explain that. Someday I'll have, you know, I'll go to the Heart Math Institute in California and have them like test a bunch of people and see, oh, yeah, their heart, you know, is really in a stable, strong place when they do his practice. Someday we'll do that.

Andy:

Yeah, I'm absolutely sure that they would just, for people who are really connecting to the practice, there would be physiological markers, you know, brainwave shifts, you know, the sort of shift in the nervous system, the electro chemical and electromagnetic fields that we all sort of have. Like, just all of that stuff is going to- I'm sure there'll be shifts, if there's the capacity to measure it. Because I've felt it, and like I really want to underline your point around what feels good to offer, as opposed to what should I offer? What do I need to offer? What's the right thing to offer? Like all of those are sort of productive robot questions sort of smuggled into this space, right. And we all have downloaded this, some version of the code of our society, which is a hyper productive, hyper output oriented society to almost instantly shift from like, Ooh this feels good for me to, like, Oh, I need to or I should or I'm supposed to, or how do I make money off of or like, there's all these ways in which it sort of, that energy can get co opted and and commodified.

Christina:

Here's another challenge I see in there. There's a belief that if it does feel good, it's selfish. It's just selfish, like if you actually enjoy doing what you're doing, helping other people. It's this weird underbelly belief. It's like, Wow, this is so fun. There must be something wrong with it.

Andy:

Totally, totally. Yeah, that if I'm having this much fun, I must not be working hard enough. Or I must be wasting my time or, yeah, there's something.And like, What a sad state of affairs we've created for ourselves, that that's the kind of one of the collective means or ideas that we all kind of, sort of subtly believe. That if we're having too much fun, we must not be working hard enough or something.

Christina:

I mean, I am just so excited. This is what makes me really jazzed about this. Because yes, those ways of being are pretty prevalent and insidious, right, like either you're grinding yourself down into nothing and like your face planting from exhaustion, or, you know, you're- I don't know, like, either you're maybe the Instagram influencer, that it's like, it's all about me. That's kind of the extreme. Look at me, I'm so great. Like, those are the only people who are comfortable having fun and being out there with their audience and stuff like that. So there's- and then there's this, you know, this everybody wins station. It's like, I just want anyone out there to just experience- I know that every human has experienced it, right? But putting a label on it and then bottling it right or just like devoting yourself to a practice around it. It's like, guess what, this could be a muscle that you train. So that every time you're out there talking to new people, you are undaunted, and you're really just excited to- Even if they don't want to work with you, and you're rejected and you get tons of no's, you just don't care. Because if you're on an everybody wins channel, you know that there's going to be people that are going to work with you. You're just unstoppable.

Andy:

Yeah, yeah. And there's this wonderful, like, energetically everyone you meet, whether or not they are people who you end up working with. Like, you just don't have an agenda for them anymore. You're just not trying to like, tell them how they should live their life or like, I'm better than them because I meditate every day or like, whatever the sort of egoic or part of us that needs to feel really good by making sure we win because other people lose, right? Like whatever that part of us that really gets amplified in our society. This practice is sort of inviting us to say no, actually, that zero sum game, where there's winners and losers, is part of the big problem. And that life is rich enough and abundant enough and full enough that we could truly build a society, we really could, where everybody wins, or as many people win as often as possible. And to just sort of be, to have that in your body when you when you talk to someone, It's like, if they say no, then you're like, Oh, awesome. That means like, that means Actually, I'm helping them make a better decision for themselves. They're winning by saying no, I just helped that happen. And that means I now have space for the person who's gonna say yes. Because it's sort of like there's this kind of this catch 22. By the way, for anyone who has a, like a service based business, if a client says yes, and they're actually not quite the right fit, you actually can't quite help them meet their real need, then that's a lot of extra energy and work for both you and that person. Whereas like, if you create the client who's like, boom, hell yes, this is awesome. And you're a hell yes. Like, there's just flow? And there's a lot less work.

Christina:

Well, and there's another piece to that. The other thing that happens when you connect yourself, and I'm going to talk a little bit in woowoo language, so come on with me, I promise-

Andy:

I'll do my best to go on for the ride here. Yeah.

Christina:

So what I find is when you hook in to what you want to offer to life, to people, to your community, right. Just when you close your eyes, and you can just be with a gift you truly, truly feel aligned with to offer, you are now connected into a bigger flow. This is why it's a practice because you're not just going to get into the big flow of awesome on day one, right? You will enjoy it, I'm sure. But it takes a while to be like, Oh, is that really the gift for me today? Or is this one, it's that discernment process where you're like, Oh my gosh, that. That one thing. And that's kind of the highest level of the practice is the ability to just know in the deepest part of yourself. So when you're in that big Yes, flow of life, like let's call it universal flow, right, now you're hooking in. And it's not just about what you want, your needs. Now you're kind of in service to the whole wide world. And when you do that, and somebody says, I'm not sure we're really, you know, we're really a fit, and I'm not really ready for this work. Here's the thing that I've noticed is that when people are in a bigger flow with the whole wide world, their intuition is really heightened. And they might be like, get sensing Hmm, I think their mind right now is coming up with all these resistances. But they don't actually mean what they're saying. So maybe pick up on that, or you pick up on what you said, Andy? They're saying yes, but I'm getting like all kinds of No, intuitively like this is just not a good partnership. So I would say, I think it all relates to that I'm okay with being rejected. Because honestly, all I care about when I'm in that bigger flow is aligning with the right people. And yes, there might be rejections, but I'm probably not going to take them as personally. And I'm going to keep open and ask the right questions, to really make sure that Okay, you know, how can I empower you to make a good decision to work with me or not to work with me? How can I really- Yeah, and just help you make the best decision ever?

Andy:

Yeah, yeah. And what a gift. Like that's an everybody wins. What a win. Like if they make the best decision ever, whatever it is, that's awesome for them and for you. And for anyone else that they touch. And for anyone else that you touch.

Christina:

And you have the inner fortitude. This is something I've noticed about I don't know, like the way that America is operating right now. Like just the underbelly of America. I'm just gonna completely broad brush for a moment is, we know what we're doing. We're the best. We're just going to come in and solve all the problems, right? That stance stops you from getting new data. I need to understand. I need to ask questions, I need to stay open. I need to really just figure this out. And when we get into that everybody wins, Universal flow, good Juju place, guess what we have? We have Like the stamina to stay open. Like, I've never seen a time where it's more important to have that kind of stamina.

Andy:

Yes, yes to deeply listen to someone else, regardless of whatever beliefs they inherited, or regardless of where they were born, or what they say they care about, like to just really hear someone else. Which, by the way, is an incredibly generous and healing practice for both the listener and the person who's been listened to. Right. And, and so there's sort of, that gets really down into the care piece that I think is one of your- And maybe actually even the devotion piece. Like I am devoted to whatever my big mission purpose is. And one of the ways I express that devotion is by really caring for this person who's right in front of me right now. And this may be the last time I ever talk to them, we may only have this one hour together. But if I orient from that place of deep listening, and openness, and curiosity and give me more data, then there's no way that's a waste of time. Because now I'm even clear on Okay, who should I talk to you next, and they're either going to go further or they're not. And either way, like, they've had a wonderful experience, and what a gift to give someone else to really listen to them. That's not something- that's part of our underbelly is man, we are not as a society right now, that is a hard ass thing for most of us to do, to really listen to someone else.

Christina:

Here's the other thing I noticed about that. people pick up when you are there for their highest good, like, they just know it. And honestly, when you operate, again, whether you do this practice or some other way to get at it, right, I'm just going to call it everybody wins channel. And if you're operating from that, you're not just operating for their highest good, you're operating for everybody's highest good. That's really, I mean, that is just so beautiful to be around. Right? You can feel it when you're around people like that. There's way less agenda there. You know, there's probably not any kind of weird manipulation. I mean, it's just a lot of those games fall away. And I want to just say something about that, um, when you do this particular practice, you need to make a decision every day about what generosity means to you. And I don't mean to be critical, but I do know, it's easy to get into a place of, I just want to help people, I just want to- like sort of General, General intentions. And those are really, I'm going to call them pretty but not always powerful, right. It's like, Oh, my gosh, I just, I want to be a good person. I want to- that's nice. But I also want to see, I want to see you make a choice. Like this practice, Somehow this feels really powerful. You need to stay open to what your generosity looks and feels like every day, because it evolves, you evolve every day. So it evolves every day. And again, it's asking you to stay open, you can't just decide, well, I'm a good person, and then go off into the wild blue yonder. And everything's going to be great. Like, no, this asks you to be humble, and open every single day. I'm not quite languaging it right, but something in there. It just sort of brings out agency, right. It asks you to have agency while also being humble to what your generosity is at every new moment.

Andy:

Hmm, yeah, what I'm getting- I'm getting a few things as you share that and maybe I can sort of let you know what I'm getting and see if we can really stick the landing on what you're sharing. One is that the more specific you are about what it is you want to offer people, the more power that has to give you that grounded, expansive, connected feeling. It's like actually just saying, like, I want to help everyone. There's a bit of a, like, a part of you's gonna go like, Well, what does that mean? Does that mean I have to respond to every email right away? And I have to say yes to every request that everyone makes of me, and I have- and it sort of actually puts you at risk back in that like, that burnout space of like now you're doing a productive robot version of generosity that's just kind of very unfocused. So it's like an invitation to use specificity. But then there's also in the practice an invitation to creativity, right? Like it doesn't just have to be like, Okay, I need to- Okay, got it, Andy. Got it, Christina. I need to be more specific. So I'm going to send a nice email to every person in my network. Like okay, that could be cool. But what if you could do something really creative in your heart, like invite every one of your clients to come sit with you Under the shade of a beautiful tree, and drink water from a pure stream. Like, oh, wow. That's one of the things, one time in a practice I came up with. I was like, I can actually picture the tree, I can picture the river, I can picture the people I invited to come sit with me, I can picture how it felt to drink the water. And right like that was very specific, but also really creative. And it was really clear, like metaphorically, and literally, what that might mean. It's like, okay, one thing that I do is just give people in my work, I give people some space, some shade, some space to sit and think and nourish themselves. Beautiful. So that's one way now I can think about what I'm doing in my work. And I just think that's really powerful.

Christina:

Somebody might be asking, like, okay, let's say I give out stuff. So I'm going to give you examples of things people have given out. So you know, you have this come under the shade, under the tree. Like that's so clear. Then there's some of my favorite gifts I've ever heard people give out are things like a little Christmas Bell, that, you know, she visualized it on a winter field. And every time it would ring, it would bring that peace, peace of- I guess Christmas can be insane. But there are aspects of that time that, you know, I think of Advent and other, you know, aspects of that. It's like just feels like total peace. My favorite gift to give out or one of my standbys is a cup of green tea, because if I give it to someone, it always feels like, we're going to have true communication. Like, we're just going to calm down out of all of our identities and agendas, and we're just going to really listen to each other. So cup of green tea is that for me. I've heard people, another woman, it was like February or March, and it was really, really cold. And she was giving out little bubbles of sunlight. You know, when sort of as soon as it reached someone, it would pop and they would have the warmth of the sun on their face, like getting really creative and playful, and all that stuff. So then you ask yourself, Well, if I'm giving out these gifts, am I supposed to go out and actually give stuff like that? Like, how literal is this? And how does it affect my life every day. And this is the magic of doing certain things. When I first started teaching this, I had no idea how people were going to take this and run with it and how it would affect their lives. So all I can tell you is that when people land their awesome gift of the day, it changes them. And you know, me too, and I'm sure you've seen this too. And there's this knowing that opens up like that intuitive zone that I was speaking to. And so many people worried that like, I don't know what to do with this, this feels so far away from the rest of life. And I'm here to assure you that like, everyone has basically come back to me and been like, Alright, this, just doing this. I don't know why it works. But like for you, Andy giving out that the shade under a tree, I can say from going to your group events, that I feel that way when I'm there on a zoom conference with people all over the place. And it's through a screen and a lot of people might say, Boy, it's, you know, it's very disconnecting to be on a screen and but I feel like I'm under a tree with you. And if you hadn't done that and created that intention, right, like, yes. I don't know what to say other than go with it. Have fun with it, and you will know what's next.

Andy:

Yeah, right. Gosh, yeah, there's so much more I wish we could like have the heartmath data you're alluding to earlier, but like I can just, I can just tell you that physiologically, chemically, psychologically, when you land in that place. You're connected to life, and you're sharing something that's either metaphorical or quote unquote, literal like just in your heart, in your mind's eye, when you are in that space. The energy and the physicality of your body shifts, and the sort of way that you meet someone shifts. And that shift creates so much more space for creative co discovery with someone. It's like, Now when I'm with a group, put me in front of a group of 50 people. And it might not be like that, quote, unquote, end result might not be perfect. I'm sure some of those 50 people might be like, Oh, I wish he said this, or I wish he did that or whatever. But there's just no, I have no fear around that. Because I'm showing up with an intention, for instance, to give everyone space under that tree, to just be with each other. And then if in the moment someone says or after the meeting, someone says, let's do this, or let's try that or what about this? If anyone kind of pushes or asks, or there's just a sense of like, okay, let's dance, let's play with this, what if we do this, right, and there's, um, it's just awesome. The me five years ago would have been like really fucking stressed about managing everyone's needs. And instead, I'm just like, I'm here to give you space to manage your own needs. And that is powerful. And the generosity practices helped amplify that a lot. So thank you.

Christina:

You can imagine how this translates. Here's another pleasant surprise, I discovered how what you're just talking about, right? That sort of, Hey, everyone has space to figure out their own needs and meet them. When you're in a sales negotiation. Like this was a big moment for me when somebody that I work with at the very beginning of all this said to me, I am so much better in a meeting where thousands of dollars are on the table. And I'm sitting there hoping to get the business. But because I did this generosity practice work, I hooked into that everybody wins way of being, I could just sort of be quiet and listen to the people across the table. And either they needed me or they didn't. And it was really easy for me to just say, you need me. And then it's just very easy for them to say, You're right, let's write a check. And there's like, she was just giving them space to like, really figure out what they needed from her. And it turned out in that situation, she could actually meet those needs. And there's no reason for a song and dance. There's just What's the need? And can I meet it? The end. She went on to make you know, a lot of money from that situation. But we think we have to be in that place- I mean, she used to be in like mild desperation, like sweating, hoping to get- You can't listen when you're like that. So, yeah.

Andy:

That's awesome. So awesome. I want to say I really want to make sure before we wrap up, and I think we might have maybe 15 minutes left or so. We've been talking a lot about this. And if you're up for it at the end, I'd love to give people at least a taste of it experientially, I'm not quite there yet. I think there's a few more things I want to talk to you about. But would that be cool? If maybe in about 10 or 15 minutes, you lead us through a little meditation for anyone who's listening? Okay. Yeah, awesome. One thing I want to talk about, because we're in a really like, you know, I feel like maybe your friend has sent us a bubble of sunshine this morning, right? Like, we're in this like, yeah, it's so like, everybody wins, and you just- Right and like, there's sort of this sense of like, now every interaction you have is going to be so beautiful and perfect. But like part of it is really, I want to acknowledge that there is just a human element of, there still might be a part of us that does want to get the client or that doesn't want to get rejected, or that wishes things were quote unquote, more perfect. And it's not like all of that goes anywhere. But rather that we build a different kind of relationship with those parts of ourselves, and invite them into a new possibility of like, maybe this could be different. And so one thing that I know you and I both care a lot about is like there are times when we are anxious, or we do have a difficult conversation, or someone does say no to us. Or we get in, you know, we get an email or a phone call that we didn't want to get. And the thing I'm noticing, both with a generosity practice, and just more generally is if I can relate to those moments in a different way, without taking it quite so personally, without having it be a commentary on my worth, but rather an invitation into deeper curiosity about myself and about how I relate to the world. It's just like, there's just, everything becomes, everything has the possibility of teaching us something. And I just like want to hear you say more about how you work with those moments where you've done your generosity practice and you feel great. And then like, you get a phone call with some shitty news or you see something on TV that really bums you out or something like arguably pretty terrible happens. You lose a client or whatever it is like, how are you relating to those moments of inevitable friction and loss and let down that we're all going to encounter as we do this work?

Christina:

Sure. So one of the things that I'm aware of with any kind of personal development work is it's not about- this took me a long time to come to- it's not about oh my gosh, because I do these practices, I'm no longer gonna have the issues I used to have. And I realized- I remember the moment where this really became obvious to me. It's not about making all that go away, it's about an increased capacity to handle it. And in fact, you can handle a lot more, so look out. Not that you're gonna create disaster, but it's just like, Bring it on, you know. Like, you can have that attitude and just bring it on because I got this, right. So if something comes in that is really unsettling, then my response to that is- Well I do a few different things. I definitely try to widen the circle, meaning that's like one of my favorite, favorite favorite things in life. Because I feel like when things are tough, we tend to isolate like our natural knee jerk thing is like, well, I can't control this. So let me just go and, you know, stay in my tiny bubble. But I try to, like reach out and, you know, to my trusted colleagues, and get insights and different perspectives and stuff like that. But then with practices like inner practices, it's just time to, I mean, when I have the energy to do it, I'm just saying, we're all human. And there are days where we're just like, not up for this. But when you can sit down and just start to, you know, for me, I sit down on the couch and just get at it, right. Like, I remember when I first- Right before I started teaching, this was 2014. It was quite a scary moment of like, I have no idea where money's coming from, and my life is just I don't know where I'm headed. Like, everything was up for grabs. And I don't know, if this happens to you, Andy. There's a lot of days where it's just like, yeah, I'm just gonna let life beat me. But then there are moments where I just have this attitude of like, Oh, hell no, and I am gonna like, I'm just gonna do this practice until you know, life is my bitch. I know, that's a weird way to say it, like I am in it. I am doing this until I get where I want to go. And I guess that's the devotion piece, right? Like just, I'm in it to win it or what all the cliches are. But I remember that, like, eight hours, I was on an airplane or nine hours. And I did my practice for the entire nine hours. And when I got back, I knew exactly who to call. Like, I just knew exactly what my next steps were. And the whole time, I was like, meeting my terror, one moment at a time, just like terror, more terror, panic. And I've been in those situations before, and it actually totally destroyed my health for years. And so this was a moment where it's like, that is never happening again. I'm going to use this practice for all it's worth. And so I don't know how to help somebody who is- I don't know what gets you to say, Hell no. I think sometimes when we've been through the pain enough, and we just decide I'm making a different choice. And I don't know, I don't know if you have anything to say about that. Like, what brings us to that gumption place? Right. Like, I don't know, if I thought about that. I guess if you have a lot on the line. But, yeah.

Andy:

Yeah, when the stakes are high. Right. That's a great insight. When we have a lot on the line, that is a certain kind of motivation. Yeah, I mean, the sort of obvious, but short answer is it's different for everyone. And then there's a process of really learning to trust. There's a process I went through, I'll speak for myself, and I think I've seen this be true for a lot of my clients, too, of really learning to trust myself, and really learning over a period of time how to anchor more quickly in that self trust. Even when I wake up and I feel shitty, or I you know, get a no or- I mean, I just remember, March, whatever it was March 9, when when the sort of looming threat of this pandemic kind of came into everyone's collective consciousness here in the States, right? Like it was a sort of far away thing until it wasn't. My wife was pregnant at the time. We have a two and a half year old, now two and a half year old daughter, she was, you know, about two. And I just was like, I was awake all night. My body was just like having this intense physiological response to what if my wife gets sick? What if? What if the baby in her belly gets sick? What if my two year old daughter gets sick? What if one of my aging parents gets sick, right? There's so many unknowns at that point. And it was hard. It was a really hard night. I didn't get any sleep. So when I quote unquote, woke up the next day, which wasn't me waking up, it was actually this, I cannot live like this. Maybe something terrible has happened, but I know I can't live like this. So that was my moment of like, I'm gonna lean in. And I'm going to just like let my body feel what it has to feel. I'm going to let the fear beat Here, and I'm gonna widen the circle so that the fear is not running the show. And of course, I had over a period of years, like the other piece here was like, Oh, this is what I've been training for. This is what I have spent the past decade like reading philosophy and doing mindfulness and practicing yoga, and, you know, like just all doing coach training, all that stuff. I was like, Oh, actually, this is it. This moment is revealing truth about the nature of life, which is there's so much outside of our control. But we all have the capacity within us for as long as our hearts are beating, and our breath is breathing, which can be a huge privilege, we see that now how privileged that is. We have the ability to choose how we relate to that reality. And, and so that like that capacity to trust ourselves that we can handle this is so so powerful, and it's something that I try and anchor in every day. And, and there are sort of like, sort of days where I wake up with the small A anxiety. Like, I just feel kind of crummy today. And then there's just a conversation to have around. That's okay, I'm allowed to feel crummy, it's okay to feel crummy. But I still know what I care about. And I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go spend time with my family, I'm gonna go spend time with my business, I'm gonna go spend time with my clients, because I've made that commitment. And then the next day like, and then and then that this too shall pass. And the same, some days I wake with anxiety with a big A. Like, Fuck, what's gonna happen on November 3. Fuck, like, there's just those big moments. That's okay. Let's do the work we know that works. Let's ground back down. So just, that's my long way of saying, we all have so much more capacity than we give ourselves credit for. And the invitation in those moments of intensity, is to actually discover that, to actually really discover and feel that we can hold more and carry more and survive more than most of us have maybe ever been asked to. And when we start to realize how much capacity we have, that's like the upside that emerges. Wow, we have so much creativity, too. There's so many things we could be doing. So it's just like anchoring and self trust is the headline for me whenever things get hairy.

Christina:

Yeah. Yeah. And again, sometimes, you know, the belief is, Oh, my gosh, when I'm freaking out, you know, I should be able to close my eyes, meditate and come to total inner peace. And I think that's what I want to call bs on

Andy:

Yeah.

Christina:

Uh-uh, not going to happen, but here's what will. Your body now, your nervous system is used to, like coming back. It's just used to grounding. It's used to feeling safe. So whatever you're going through, you have a higher capacity to handle it. And you will come back to safety faster, you'll come back to grounding faster. You know, again, I love that you talk about permission to feel it all, right. And that's not going to be a grounded, lovely time. Right? Like-

Andy:

No, no, no.

Christina:

Right. Like, I think sometimes people think meditation is a button you push so you don't have to feel all that stuff. No no.

Andy:

Yeah, it's just the opposite. Actually It's about- I remember I was working with a coach a couple years ago. And she just gave me this wonderful invitation. She said, Andy, you need to learn how to let things in more. And I was out for a walk the next day with my daughter, who was you know, at that point, like, maybe six months old, maybe younger. And anyone who's a parent can relate to like, these parts of us that just imagine all of these worst cases It was like a whole new world, like, Oh, shit, there's this totally helpless life and like, oh, that could go wrong. That could go wrong, you know, like, they're so fragile. And it was like that. So I was just having, encountering some parental fears. And I was trying to like, kind of contain them. And so I was feeling this kind of contraction in my belly. And I just remembered my coach's invitation, let it in. And so I just really has like, had this moment. It's like, what would it feel like if I just let this energy go to every part of my body. And so I tried that. And, and lo and behold, suddenly, it was like this diffusion of what I might have called, what I've might have described as anxiety, just kind of spread to every- I could like feel my fingers vibrating, I could feel my head vibrating. And it was just like phew. And I realized that what I had done in that moment was give my whole body permission to hold the fear that I was currently trying to kind of cramp in my gut. And so I just, that was like a moment of discovery that you just described that actually, my body can handle it. And the more I give it space to handle it, the better it gets at handling it. And so there's this beautiful thing that the more we can feel The tragedies of life, like the more we can let ourselves grieve, the more we can let ourselves be afraid, and stay in the game, the more we actually also have the capacity to feel beauty, to encounter wonder to encounter joy. It's like the whole range. If you try and keep fear away, you're also keeping joy away. That's a big learning that I've really come to.

Christina:

Yeah, absolutely.

Andy:

Yeah. So that capacity is something that your generosity practice invites people into. And as we come down the homestretch this feels- I guess I'll ask you, if there's anything else you want to share. But this feels like a really nice moment to land on.

Christina:

If you're listening to this, you might be wondering, and she's a marketing coach?

Andy:

Yeah, totally. Yeah, totally.

Christina:

So just know that if you go to innatemarketinggenius.com, just innatemarketinggenius.com, a really good step into this work, which brings in all the generosity practice juju, is just to go to that website and take the assessment. Because that's gonna help you understand something about how you're going to market and bring all of that love and care and devotion, depending on what your innate marketing genius type is. So I'll just sort of offer that invitation. It's free of charge, it takes about 10 minutes. And, yeah, it's just a good step. And, you know, we could have an entire two hour discussion about all that work. Generosity practice was the beginning of where an innate marketing genius came out of it all. If you're curious and that's calling to you, just go take the assessment, reach out to me, we'll chat you know, enjoy.

Andy:

Yeah, and I'll say real quick, on that note, like you've identified five of these wonderful archetypes that all people have some, at least one of them in them, right. And so you helped me identify that I am a door opener, that my natural way of helping people is to open doors of possibility, and to let them peer through, and let them decide if they're going to come through. And naming that innate genius has actually helped me in so many ways. One of the ways it's helped me, just as an aside is, it's helped me let go of- it's not my job to push anyone through the door, actually. That was a really great moment of like, oh. Because there was a time in the past when it's like, oh, check this out. And someone be like, Yeah, nah, that's not- But I just opened this cool door. You don't see that? It's like, Oh, no, it's just like they- I just need to keep opening doors. And then when people see themselves walking through one, now they can. And I was like, Oh, what a great reframe. So you have all of these wonderful archetypes. It is totally worthwhile to do that assessment. It's a great, it's a great jumping off point for all of this magical, wonderful stuff that we've been talking about for the past hour. So I'm glad you flagged that.

Christina:

Yeah.

Andy:

Yeah. Well, Christina, I feel really psyched. One thing I'm checking in on whenever I do these interviews is, do I feel grounded and expansive, to use your language. And I do, like I just feel really grateful that our paths have crossed and grateful for all that you do for the communities that you're a part of, and the clients that you serve, and your commitment to like, a world where everybody wins. So I see your care, and consistency, and devotion in everything that you do, and I just really want to celebrate you for that.

Christina:

Thank you.

Andy:

Yeah, yeah.

Christina:

Where's my birthday hat?

Andy:

Yeah, okay. I'll give you one in my next generosity practice. I'll send you a birthday hat. So yeah, maybe we can just just land the plane today with you leading us through whatever you feel called to lead us through for the next five or so minutes.

Christina:

Yeah. So I was I was sort of pondering this. On insight timer, I have a few generosity, practice ish meditations, if somebody's you know, curious about all this. And the big one is the compassion bench. And that's where you know, you sit and you meet somebody that you're not in a good understanding place with, and then you can kind of create a place to understand even just on the ether. But today, what I'd love to do is walk you and anyone listening to a bench of joy. And I think that's just a nice way to enter into this work. A bench of joy so that you can be with somebody you adore, and then make an offering. So we'll play with that.

Andy:

That sounds awesome. Great. All right. I'm in your hands.

Christina:

Alright, so go ahead and close your eyes. settle into where you are. And notice your Breath, no need to change it. Just notice your inhale and your exhale. And appreciate for a moment your own capacity to go places when you have your eyes closed. And notice that there now is a summer field in front of you. This is your small adventure today. So just notice that summer field where it's late in the afternoon. So there's kind of an orange glow. The grasses are tall. And you notice a few flowers. And things are sort of overgrown by now. At the edge of this field, there is a bench, and you see a little path that leads you right to the bench. And as you zig and zag through the tall grasses, there's a quiet that settles over you. And you just notice the summer air. You smell it as you keep wandering over and find your spot on the bench. There are overgrown blackberries, kind of crowding the edges of this bench. And then you settle on to it. Making a little space for somebody to meet you there. And you allow the sun of the afternoon to just warm your face for a moment. And you listen to a couple of sounds, perhaps crickets or birds or wind. Notice what you notice. And you are now ready to have somebody join you, somebody who you feel very connected to. And you are so glad they're in your life. They are a blessing to you. Now they're coming towards you. And they settle in next to you on the bench. And if you need to pause this to just sort of land on one person because sometimes a couple people show up, that's alright. Keep breathing. But just let them be there as you appreciate them quietly. And there's something that would truly delight you to give them. So just sort of tune in to how they are, and as you tune in to how they are, your connection to them, you might notice that there's something that would really just feel like a wonderful gift to offer them. And it might surprise you. It could be simple like a hug. Might be something magical. Like sparkly stars that you sprinkle all over them. It could be something funny like an animal with teeth, who knows. Just give yourself the space to just listen and watch as something delightful, reveals itself to you. And allow yourself to be even more joyful, let's say 10% more joyful than you might otherwise be. This is going to be fun. There's nothing to solve or change here. And then when you're ready, again, just feel that sun in your face. And notice your appreciation for that person, and offer them what you have to offer them. And allow yourself to be present through the whole thing. Notice them. Notice your own heart, and what they might be experiencing. Notice your own imagination, the place where you are, might have shifted a little bit. And anything else that wants to come through at some point, this will feel complete. And again, check in with yourself how has it been to experience this joyful generosity? You can allow that loving being to be on their way and let them go. You can open your eyes when you're ready.

Andy:

Thank you, Christina.

Christina:

Yeah. Do you want to share any of the details? I'm always curious what people see.

Andy:

I know, yeah, it's hard not to be. Yeah, I'd be happy to. Hmm, just to get all the details could take like another 10 minutes. But let's see. So I appreciated your invitation to have someone who I really care about and just really love join me on the bench. And, and so in this case, it was my wife. And right now as parents of two, with my business kind of just going full speed and two kids. It's not like any- when you have a second kid, for anyone who is a parent of one or thinking about becoming parents. It's not just like a doubling of work, there's like an exponential increase in work. And my wife is, both like her strength and challenge is, when to care for herself, because she will just pour herself into our kids. And it's beautiful. And I'm aware of that challenge. And so it's just like inviting us to be together because she and I, in the past six months have not got as much time because there's just so much happening. So like give ourselves space to be together, which is just awesome to just like look at each other in the eyes, and I'm gonna go after this phone call and just go up and give her a big hug and let her know how much I love her. But then also our kids were there. And so then the next gift I gave her was to just like, like, put the carrier with our son on my body and have him be on my body and take my daughter's hand and just like give her permission to walk through the summer field that you're in and just go explore. And just say like, it's gonna be fine. I've got them. And then the last piece is I've been doing a lot of work over the years. I don't really have a word for it. And this starts to get into this sort of quote unquote woowoo territory, but I have encountered something that- I guess the word I have for this thing called source energy. Like there's a way in which we are all like waves on an ocean. We think that we're the wave. And that's all there is. But actually the wave is just part of a massive ocean and, connecting to that energy and letting it come through and really letting it fully express in the wave form that is me or that is you. And so I just didn't, I just like, gave her my doorway into that to say, if you want to experience this right now, this is how I experienced it. And I want to let you connect to that. And so it's just sort of this like, wonderful unfolding of giving her space to totally let down some of her responsibilities and really connect to her own unique waveform in this life and be nourished by that. So it's just awesome. And I feel really nourished having done that. So thank you.

Christina:

Awesome.

Andy:

Yeah. Yes, beautiful. Christina, deep, deep bow of gratitude. I'm so grateful our paths have crossed, I can't wait to see where the journey ahead goes in the weeks and months and years ahead. But I'm just really, really inspired by you. And I'm glad that I got to share a bit of what you do with my listeners.

Christina:

Yeah, and you bless my life in all kinds of ways. So thank you.

Andy:

Thanks. Thanks for tuning in to the Wonder Dome. This podcast was produced by me, Andy Cahill, with support from Kaleigh Cerqua, and audio editing services from John Nolan at Middle Mountain studios. The theme song was written and performed by Todd Marston. You can find the Wonder Dome wherever pods are casted. If you dig what we're doing here, please share widely, subscribe, and give us some love on the review boards. And if you feel called to support this humble offering to the worlds, while also making an even greater impact in the lives of others, consider becoming a monthly supporter. Not only will you help me keep the lights on, and keep the show going for as long as I'm able, but 30% of all member contributions go directly in support of causes, like the Black Lives Matter Movement, United Nations Refugee Agency, and the National Resources Defense Council. You can find out more at my website, mindfulcreative.coach, where you can also sign up for my newsletter. Learn about my transformational coaching work and get plugged into exclusive offers and community happenings. In the meantime, I'm wishing you a life of purpose, power, and presence. We need you now more than ever.